2 COW THEORY OF

Kirby · 3 December 2001, 11:27 AM

...A CHRISTIAN:
You have 2 cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

...A SOCIALIST:
You have 2 cows. The government takes one and gives one to your neighbor.

...A REPUBLICAN:
You have 2 cows. Your neighbor has none. You hire him at a good wage so he can buy two cows.

...A DEMOCRAT:
You have 2 cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

...A COMMUNIST:
You have 2 cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

...A FASCIST:
You have 2 cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

...DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have 2 cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

...CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have 2 cows. You sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have 2 cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

...AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. You are surprised when the cow drops over dead.

...A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want 3 cows.

...A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You re-design them so they are 1/10th the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk.

...A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

...AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

...A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

...A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
You think you have 2 cows but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

...A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.

...A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

...AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You worship them.

...A TALIBAN:
You have 2 cows. You turn them loose into the Afghan "countryside" and they both die. You blame the godless American and Israeli infidels.

IT'S A JOKE SON!

mike_baram · 3 December 2001, 01:05 PM

You forgot one:
A Jew - You have one cow. You sell the milk, and eventually buy more cows with the profits. In time, you can afford to send your kids to college. After 10 years, they've gotten graduate degrees, changed their names and become Unitarians.
You are villified for trying to control the world's milk supply.

Brad · 3 December 2001, 01:48 PM

Quote:

You forgot one:
A Jew - You have one cow. You sell the milk, and eventually buy more cows with the profits. In time, you can afford to send your kids to college. After 10 years, they've gotten graduate degrees, changed their names and become Unitarians.
You are villified for trying to control the world's milk supply.

Hmmmm... and the Towelie-ban send suicide bombers to kill your cows...

Amy · 4 December 2001, 05:15 AM

Kirby:

LOL!

stephen · 4 December 2001, 05:27 AM

A CLINTON:

Your two cows have a calf. The INS kidnaps the calf and sends it to Cuba.

A KENNEDY:

You have two cows. One is drunk, the other drowns.

A TEXAN:

You have two cows. You eat them.